Welcome to my blog. It's, well, a blog.
I have many, now, most of them floating and abandoned in the internet's wide expanse, but this one is the one I'm... currently using.
So I suppose I should make some kind of introduction of myself, as this is supposed to be my introduction post. But first I think I'll lay some advice down on the table.
After this 'Read more...' cut, that is.
Or 'jump break' or whatever it was. Each blogging system seems to name it a different thing.
1) My name is Scott.
It's a simple, straightforward, stable and one might say practical name. I can't claim it as my own work, of course, but that of my parents. I don't use it much online and I might not use it much here. If I don't, well... Cope with it.
2) This blog is rated for 'Adult content', whatever that means in this day and age where unthinking parents can buy two-piece bikinis for their two-year-olds. I'm serious, that stuff's out there.
You won't find it here, though. Instead you'll find... Well, I don't know quite what you'll find, yet, and therefore I've done what I feel to be the responsible thing and turned on the setting that gives you a dirty big warning (that you would have already seen and clicked through to get here).
Be advised that any complaints about the adult nature of this blog will be ignored at best, ridiculed if I feel like it, reported as harassment at worst. You clicked the agreement. You decided to come here. You cop the flak - the results of your coming here - be that mental distress, offense, disgust or even (GASP!) amusement.
3) I use the jump-break feature a lot.
One thing I dislike about blogs nowadays is the tendency to stick huge marathon posts on the front page. None of that here - but it does mean that on almost every single one of these posts you'll need to click either the post title or the 'Read more...' link to see the whole thing. If this bothers you then I'm pleased that you have such a keen grasp on your preferred blog-reading aesthetics. This, however, is how I prefer to do things and as this is my blog I feel justified in maintaining my own personal standards while posting here.
4) You may be able to post comments. You can't post abuse.
What I mean by this is that on some posts I'll leave the Comments feature on. Feel free to leave comments on those pages. If this feature isn't activated on a given post, well, obviously you don't get to comment on it.
You may never post abuse to any portion of this blog.
If you're in doubt, read that again. I don't tolerate abuse to either myself or other users - even ones I heartily disagree with. If you have an issue with someone take it... I don't know. Somewhere else. Away from here.
5) I'm Australian.
This means a few things, the most obvious being that I reside in the country formally known as the Commonwealth of Australia and informally known simply as Australia. I'm not patriotic (at least I don't feel I am) but I'm most certainly proud of our little nation.
It also means I use Australian English. I 'capitalise', I don't 'capitalize'. I see 'colours', not 'colors'. I vehemently defend our way of spelling so don't pick on it. American English spelling is no less correct and I defend that, too, but don't tell me I've misspelled 'defence'. I don't spell it 'defense'.
If you're in doubt go to Merriam-Webster Online and check to see if a word is listed as a 'British variant'. I have my own opinions on which is the 'variant' but nonetheless you'll likely find that the word you think I've spelled incorrectly is either an honest typo (in which case definitely point it out) or a simple regional variant.
6) I vary.
I can be a really nice fellow or a righteous prick. I can be a mean-spirited curmudgeon or a kind-hearted soul. I vary.
We all do. Don't kid yourself. The Gaelic have a saying: 'Anyone can be pleasant until a cow invades their garden.' This is absolutely true. Just because you're a nice person now doesn't mean you'll stay nice when the proverbial chips are down. There's real skill in remaining civil in the middle of a heated argument.
I've lived by this saying - this truism - for some time now. Let it guide you, too. Don't forget to be pleasant when that cow invades your garden. Yes, you'll fail at it from time to time. After all, you vary, too.
7) I can and will break my own rules.
Oh yes. I will. So will you. Let's just try not to be bastards about it.
That's it for now, I think. Read on, and have fun!
